How Do I Help When I Can’t Fix It? One Thing You Can Do Today

It is no secret that this life has many painful moments.  Just the other day I was talking to a friend and I shared my feelings and frustrations over some difficult moments.  “Why does everything have to be so hard?” I asked my friend.  I started to reflect on the many ups and downs over the years and how as a family we have moved through.

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This train of thought got me thinking of others in my life who have or are experiencing struggle.  I find myself at times feeling so powerless.  I don’t want my kids to feel pain, hurt or shame.  I don’t want my family and friends to struggle with illness, grief, or sadness.   I mean what do you do when really there is nothing you can do?  I can’t stop the world from pain, hurt, loss, grief, anxiety, depression and the list goes on and on.  I have been down the road of “fixing” it for others long enough to know I can’t actually fix a darn thing unless it is within myself.  So what can I do?  What helps me move through some of the painful moments?  What helps me regulate my body and in turn teaches my kiddos what to do with there hurt for themselves and others?

Enter the Wish You Well Board.  Dr. Becky Bailey. the founder of Conscious Discipline, gives us a structure to do this.  Dr Becky Bailey explains, “ Wishing well is a way to instantly calm ourselves, and offer love and caring to others. It is a way  to help others when there is no physically tangible way to offer help.”

When I feel out of control or feel as if there isn’t a darn thing I can do I utilize the Wish Well board.  It is a pretty simple structure in my home.  Just a wipe off board that says “Wish Well.”  When my family experiences a difficult time we were able to put all of us on the board.  When my daughter experienced a friend passing away we put the family on our Wish Well board.  When my oldest moved to Texas and I thought my heart was going to stop I was able to put her and me on the Wish Well board. I am teaching my children that when we have hard emotions there is something we can do and that it is okay to feel them.  We are acknowledging hurt and pain and not ignoring it.

As it turns out the concept of wishing well actually has a philosophic background. It’s a way of explaining the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction states that the energy you put into the universe will dictate the world around you. For example, if you start your day like “This is going to be a great day often times positive follows.  However if you start the day with this day sucks it just seems to keep on right on sucking. Like I locked myself out of my office, and then I stubbed my toe, and then I got an email giving me crappy news.  How on earth can we be expected to believe that we can control the world around us simply with our thoughts? . Depending on the energy of the thoughts you put out, the universe will give you an answer, like two magnets slowly growing closer and closer. Your thoughts and your energy will attract the kind of world in which you will live.

And wishing well actually: Boost Immune system; Lowers stress hormones; Increases levels of IGA (fights flu and colds);  And, gives you a Wisher’s High- Releasing endorphins, increasing your sense of optimism and increasing your serotonin levels.

The gist of it — we allow our hearts to fill with all the love and positive energy we have in our bodies and send it out to the person or ourselves.  Every time we walk past the Wish Well board we are able to stop for a moment, fill out hearts and minds with warm positive light, and send it out into the universe.  So get to it!  Start your Wishing Well structure today.

Our Wish Well Board

Our Wish Well Board

 
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Here at Conscious Healing Counseling, we provide mental health support for individuals, families, children, teens, & couples.

Our wholehearted, individualized approach facilitates conscious change so you can live an authentic life filled with love and belonging.


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Author: Jamie Mosley

Jamie is board certified Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and Certified Daring Way™ Facilitaor in Minnesota. She is passionate about living a wholehearted life. Dr. Brené Brown defines wholehearted living as “engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.” She trusts that the wisdom to lead a healthy, joyful life is within each and every one of us and her role is to facilitate you in unlocking your own true wisdom.